The Search for the Funniest Person in Washington
By Daniel Stone
Politics, they say, is about getting things done, or reaching compromises or making sausages, or some political cliché like that. All true, yes. But what it really comes down to? Flipping on the charm and knowing how to work a room.
Some folks are good at it. A lot aren't. Both types showed up for the Funniest Celebrity in Washington contest Wednesday night--the annual evening of laughs that pulls DC types from the high levels of government and media to poke clever, sometimes uncomfortable, fun at themselves and their colleagues. (Don't worry, it was a fundraiser. It was for the children.)
If anyone ever said that politics can't be funny, Libertarian presidential candidate Bob Barr strongly disagrees. In a remarkable act, Barr sought to promote his candidacy, ding Bush AND get laughs. "You wanna hear a joke?" he yelled at the crowd. "Only Barack Obama and John McCain are in a debate. Get it? That's the joke!" [Uncomfortable laughter.] Certainly wanting to make sure his next joke could pass muster of an eastern elite DC audience, Barr picked things up. "Someone asked me recently how long I've been in Washington. I told them that when I first got to Washington, the Constitution and Habeas Corpus were still in effect." He should have stopped there, really, but he couldn't resist going out with a Libertarian light bulb joke. "How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a light bulb? You give up? None! We let the free market take care of it."
Not long after came Mike Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas, former lieutenant governor of Arkansas and former presidential candidate ("This guy has some trouble keeping a job!" cracked the MC), who managed to poke some fun at himself, chronicling the slow deflation of his presidential hopes and all the people he now meets who said they voted for him, although most, he griped, didn't. "If everyone who said they voted for me actually voted for me, I'd be hanging around with Sarah Palin right about now!" [Cue pity laugh.]
Then he sharpened his deprecation...not of himself, but of his fellow GOPers.
On Mitt Romney: "During the campaign, Mitt had more positions than a Chinese gymnast!"
On Fred Thompson: "I heard that Fred Thompson ran with us. Did he? I don't know if he did for sure; I never saw him run."
And on Sarah Palin: "She's shown she can sure shoot a moose. Now if she can go into the woods and shoot a moose with a lawyer, that makes her MORE qualified than Dick Cheney."
Huckabee ended up winning the night, perhaps helped in part by his name recognition. But the real prize should have gone to second placer, hilarious Politico blogger James Kotecki, who performed a perfectly rhymed a timed DC-themed flow that managed to knock Barr, Huckabee and tax-lowering advocate Grover Norquist, who came in fourth. Some of Kotecki's lyrics are probably too hot for a family blog; here are some of the cleaner excerpts:
Every other contestant here is a joke
Bob Barr, yeah good luck with the pothead vote
And Grover Norquist? Man I'm not trying to be mean
I thought your tax policy WAS your standup routine!?
Huck you won 8 months ago
And now you're here telling jokes at a comedy show
It's survival of the fittest I don't mean to be rude
But NOW do you believe in evolution dude?
Kotecki told Stumper that he doesn't think the Huckster seemed to mind the routine. In a morning after interview, Kotecki said that the Huck either didn't hear the lines or, if he did, could probably take a joke.
What's more odd, though, is that Huckabee--who has never lived in DC-- was crowned Washington's funniest celebrity. That says a lot about Mike Huckabee. Not sure what that says about Washington.
